No, this is not the connection, this blurry photo is on purpose. There's a story in it, let me tell you why ..
Lately, I felt an increasing amount of frustration and sensed the wall of overwhelm coming closer. The pile of tasks pressured me. I lacked motivation because I felt unable and stuck. When I forgot about a regular physiotherapy appointment, I understood I had to do something about it.
I’m a variously interested person. I’m creative, and love to live it fully!
I sing, play guitar, paint, draw, write, dance, collect items, photograph, rearrange my flat, decorate, craft things, do jewelry, crochet and knit, I sew, paint furniture .. the list is endless. My interest can be evoked by so many things! And I love it. I love being a person easily set on fire, and I love to transmit the fire, pass on ideas, and stir the creative energy in others. So I'm making it becoming my job. I’m tremendously passionate about this.
As beautiful as it may sound, there’s only one problem with all these many vivid interests - it’s too much all at once. It can happen so easily that I’m losing track and feeling overwhelmed. I can feel overwhelmed by the things I wanna do, by the things I can not do, by the things I’ll probably never be able to do. I feel overwhelmed by my tasks, my social life, and with my daily organization. It’s too much to pay attention to. I cannot put effort into all of this. When it gets really bad I’m feeling paralyzed because I don’t know even anymore where to start. And the sad fact is: With all this interest and passion I don’t manage anymore to START DOING those things I love. All these ideas are lining up in a space that becomes too small. When I try to squeeze in another idea, all the others are looking at me with sad eyes, and I just feel bad. The things I love become a stuffed mix of complex chaos. They lose their shine and magic. Everything gets blurry. It’s hard to tell what I’m even dealing with. It doesn't spark anymore. It gets boring.
How did I get there?
How did everything become just too much? I have so many tools to help myself in many situations, and still. So I sat down and observed. I did a list of all the stuff I really want to get done, shit I have to do, of things that are important to me. I did a brainstorming of all the ideas that are serving me, of supportive habits I want to establish, and of balancing routines to be expanded. I focused on the positive, on wholesome awareness, and on nourishment for body, mind, and soul. While I was doing this I noticed something: I became FOCUSED. While focusing on what really matters to me, I saw all the stuff around it I did to fill the time when I got lost. Stuff that made me even more unsatisfied. Stuff that gave me instant but swift relief and pleasure. None of this was found in my notes. And I understood when we do not actively choose, we’ll do just whatever seems to be nice and easy.
When we are unfocused we become indecisive.
We want it all, although some voice in our mind may whisper this is not really possible. But in our fantasy, everything can exist and look possible. As long as we don’t put it into action. And maybe that’s the point - we don’t wanna decide. We avoid making a choice because that means to prioritize a limited amount of things. Somehow we damn KNOW we can’t do it all at once. That can sound terribly frustrating for a creative mind (I know what I’m talking about). We don’t wanna let go of the dream of all the other things.
But if we only started to get into motion, stepping into action . .
we would feel the deep fulfillment of purpose. We’d get lost in the right thing. We’d get into floooww .. the moment of being stuck would fade. And all the other ideas would applaud us, knowing their time will come. Because ideas don’t just die. In fact, the sparks of our stronger flame will set them all on fire again, too.
What I realized is that lack of focus can be a big reason for overwhelm and paralyzation. It sure was mine this time.
Have you ever tried to walk on a path while watching the trees, or looking up to the sky?
It will be hard to move, especially if you increase the pace. We have to focus to set direction and to make sure we’re still on track. That does not mean we can’t refocus. Maybe we find ourselves in the wrong way or in an unfitting environment. We can reconsider and change. There’s an old saying ‘What you look at is what you walk towards'. If we don’t have focus we get easily lost, and often not in places we really wanna be.
Refocusing, finding back on track was a beautiful thing to do for me.
It was fulfilling to remind myself of my purpose, my passions, and my essence. Because that’s what in times of being stuck is going to be repressed and displaced by compensation-pleasure. It’s liberating to focus on the meaningful matter. But this you only experience when you do it .. May I invite you?
Here are some sparks! ✨